Miranda is one of Uranus' larger moons. It was discovered in 1948 by Kuiper. Ariel is its twelfth moon. It was discovered by William Lassel. Umbriel has a heavily cratered surface. It is the thirteenth moon from Uranus. Titania is the largest of Uranus' moons. It is believed long ago, Titania had a huge liquid water ocean. Oberon is the fifteenth moon of Uranus. It is the second largest of Uranus' moons.
In 1699 Virginia's General Assembly decided to move Virginia's capital. There were lots of reasons to move. Number one is Jamestown was in a marshy location, Number two its drinking water was spoiled by salt water, and Jamestown also didn't have healthy living conditions. In 1699 they moved the capital from Jamestown to Williamsburg. In 1780 the capital was moved from Williamsburg to Richmond.
Katti and John were going to buy a new kitten. They were going to buy the kitten at Jefferson's Finest Pet's. On there way to the pet store Katti forgot Her money.
They quickly ran back to Katti's house and grabbed Her wallet. Her wallet was blue, pink and orange. Katti gasped at a kitten in the catalog. I want that one She shouted to John. The kitten was black with white around its neck and it had a cute pink little nose. They turned a corner and there was Jefferson's Finest Pet's.
They opened the door hello a man shouted. They turned around it was Jefferson. He was wearing a bright orange shirt with paw prints on it. Katti showed him the kitten in the kitten catalog she wanted. I know exactly were that kitten is "follow me" he said. There it was the kitten right in front of there faces "how much is it" asked Katti? Jefferson said well usually $15 but for you $5 "deal" said Katti. They took the kitten and went home.
THE END
They quickly ran back to Katti's house and grabbed Her wallet. Her wallet was blue, pink and orange. Katti gasped at a kitten in the catalog. I want that one She shouted to John. The kitten was black with white around its neck and it had a cute pink little nose. They turned a corner and there was Jefferson's Finest Pet's.
They opened the door hello a man shouted. They turned around it was Jefferson. He was wearing a bright orange shirt with paw prints on it. Katti showed him the kitten in the kitten catalog she wanted. I know exactly were that kitten is "follow me" he said. There it was the kitten right in front of there faces "how much is it" asked Katti? Jefferson said well usually $15 but for you $5 "deal" said Katti. They took the kitten and went home.
THE END
Andrea,
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph about Uranus' inner moons is well written.
Why did they move the capital from Williamsburg to Richmond? You did not give any reasons and you could have given your reader a bit more information. You might have mentioned Bacon's rebellion.
In the first paragraph of your story, you capitalized the word "her" that should be a small h since it's in the middle of the sentence. Katti and John are not adjectives, they are nouns.
In the second paragraph, the word cute is an adjective.
In the third paragraph, you have the word were when it should be where. "there faces" should be "their faces" After faces, you should have a period. Capitalize "how" since it starts the next sentence. Jefferson and Katti are both nouns.
These are just some things to fix. You did a pretty good job on what I asked of you. :)
Your word count is 307 words.
love mommy
Score: 21/25
ReplyDelete1pt directions
1pt word usage
2pt grammar